It is motherhood is the oldest and most respected profession on earth. But, paradoxically, may be that is why the mothers along with children and geniuses, accumulated the most negative information. It is possible that they are a little bit scary.
Those, and other third there are many myths. And these myths are so ridiculous that on them would just laugh if they didn't bring tremendous harm.
The greatest myth, which is composed of mothers, is that they cannot be trusted; questioned their knowledge and understanding of their own children, because this subject is mothers too strong emotions. Only professionals can "figure out" the children.
If this were so, it would not be worth leaving children in the hands of their own mothers, as children's lives are too important for our society. It's good that this is just a myth.
The truth is that mothers know about their children more than anyone else, and just two hundred years ago they were the only competent experts in children's issues. Without any help from teachers, psychologists, psychiatrists, obstetricians, pediatricians, they managed to lead us out of the caves, And to inform the present century, bearing the proud name of "atomic era".
The problem is that most professionals of our century not trust their parents in matters concerning their own children. Among experts there is an unwritten law: "All mothers - idiots, so they cannot be trusted". Right next to it is the following, oft-repeated statement: "the Development of children is too important a thing to be able to trust her mothers". However, the truth is the reverse: the development of children is too important thing, so you can trust it to someone else, except parents. Watching the mothers, I realized that they know about their children more than anyone.
However, we already know how durable are myths. Among the thousands of mothers who have gone through our Institute, there were some lazy, narrow-minded and selfish women. However, compared to any other social group, among mothers much less lazy, narrow-minded and selfish persons.
The problem is that professionals so long and hard "iglooplay" poor mothers, that some of them are already ready to lose faith in the rightness of their instincts. Mother read women's magazines, which say something like: "If you will avoid punishment, it's going to ruin their own children." Simply put, children should be kept in a rod of iron, do not hesitate to resort to the old, proven method like slaps and cuffs. Reading these tips, mother thinks to himself: "it seems to Me that it's wrong, but it's written in such a prestigious magazine!" She don't want to resort to "old, used the way", but because her soul involuntarily seized by anxiety. Soon she reads another article in another women's magazine, where I write something like this: "Never, in no case dare to punish the child, otherwise you will get a little neurotic, who will hate you with every fiber of my soul". - "So what the hell do I do?" asked completely confused woman.
But the authors of both articles are authoritative experts from famous universities. And then the mother says to himself: "Whom of them to believe? I am only a mother..."
Only the mother?
There's an old Spanish proverb: "Grams of mother is worth a kilogram of a priest". So how do poor mother? Honestly, I don't know. But me owns a strong suspicion that if all mothers at once forget all the advice of professionals (including the one who wrote this book) and in each case will obey the voice of their heart, humanity will not lose anything. They want - let them spank, and if necessary - will caress. I am sure that in 99 % of cases they would be right. Moreover, I personally do not know of professionals who would be right in the same 99% of the cases.
Now let's look at the biggest myth about which we have already mentioned: mothers cannot be trusted, because they are too emotionally suited to solve any problems. There is such a strange feeling that the child would be good to have a mother that everything that relates to him, would coolly. Think for a moment: what has become of our world if every mother suddenly infected with this terrible composure? Even Napoleon had once taken a long enough break in their conquests, saying the famous phrase: "Let France have good mothers, and she will have good sons." And even his main adversary, the British field Marshal A. U. Wellington agreed with him on this.
From a myth about the emotional attitude of mothers towards everything that concerns their children, we can conclude: they can't be objective. It is even funnier and sadder. The most common example given on this occasion: deep down, every mother believes that her child is a genius, but since it is not, then what can you say about objectivity?
B. fuller said: "Every newborn child is born a genius, but under the involuntary influence of the people around him and (or) not too good circumstances, he gradually turns into mediocrity".
Indeed, every young mother sees her child genius. But since she is unlikely to read B. fuller, knows that all children are geniuses, and thinks that genius is only her child. And she, of course, right: her child is a genius. Her mistake is that she says about it. Observation of your child and make sure his extraordinary talent, she realizes that now is not able to treat it objectively.
A lot of geniuses noted the unusual talents of children. I could easily fill this Chapter alone quotes on this occasion. Genius look at children and see them ourselves. The mother seeing the same thing as genius. But mothers are somehow not allowed to talk about it.
Although damaging myths about mothers continue to spread, we will limit ourselves to consideration of only this: "mothers are the spirit of competition, and they want their child in all respects was better than the other children."
I must say that we did not find evidence of this myth, watching the mothers who have gone through our Institute. It seemed to us that mothers are not worried about the fact that their child was better than everyone else, and that he was able to realize his abilities. Agree that this is not the same thing.
The learning process brings joy to both mother and child.
Mothers are the most suitable teachers for their children. When this learning process delivers by mothers incomparable joy.
Reminds me of may 1963, when the publication in the "Home magazine for women" our article "Teach your baby to read quietly began the "quiet revolution". In this time revived the movement for women's emancipation.
Under the influence of these two processes in our society has seen many changes. Moreover, these processes have mutual influence.
Women demanded a place under the sun, and as a result began to hold positions of congressmen, governors, astronauts, managers, religious leaders, become scientists, lawyers, etc. Millions of young women watched the successful careers of other women in areas that had previously been the privilege of men. However, most women wanted for themselves quite different - they wanted to become "competent mothers-specialists". This does not mean that they were not interested in the world of men's professions. Just so much more they wanted profession female, And they rejected the modern myth that motherhood is a kind of slavery, where a woman becomes a victim of a boring life, consisting of washing dishes and cleaning the house. These women were considered motherhood in a different way: as the most delightful and honorable profession, which only you can imagine. And they, unlike emancipated women, were not concerned about the state of Affairs in the world and the problem of how to change it for the better. However, not quite so. They just believed that it is worthy the execution of their roles every mother and will lead to the fact that our world will change and become great. Really, who said that to improve the world need by changing some global organizations, not by improving the people themselves? But mother manage the most important of all the world's resources - children.
The mother was deeply concerned about the disastrous state of the school system. And this condition was visible to the naked eye. Then they just decided to take the matter of upbringing and education of children in their hands. And men were in agreement on this issue with their wives. The path to this was very simple - women should be competent mothers.
This movement coincided with the beginning of the "quiet revolution". The result was incredible. When a new generation of mothers found that not only can they teach their children to read, but that they are much easier to train at home when they are only two years than in school when they are seven, they literally opened a new world. And it was a world of parents and children. He had the internal capacity to change the face of the planet for a very short time and in the most ideal way. Young and hot mother began to teach their children to read, and some are taught to read in two or three languages. They taught their children math, and they achieved a remarkable success. They gave them a variety of knowledge about birds, flowers, trees, presidents, flags, Nations, and ideas about many other things. They taught their gymnastic exercises, swimming, and playing the violin.
After a very short time mothers found that can teach children anything, if only to do it sincerely and constantly be based on facts. The most interesting discovery was that, in doing so, they develop the intelligence of your child. Moreover, the learning process was the most enjoyable hours that mothers spend with their children. After these sessions, mothers and children literally felt a surge of love and respect for each other. How much different is the new generation of mothers from the previous generation!
The truth is not only that motherhood is the most important profession, but also in the fact that it is mothers who were the first teachers of mankind and are still the best teachers. It is thanks to their efforts of mankind climbed out of the trees, came out of the caves, and now prepares to enter the twenty-first century. The main difference between modern, competent mothers from mothers of the past consists in the following. My own mother is a typical example. She raised her children, of whom I was the eldest, intuitively batching love and discipline. However, she herself gave the children, seeing their only reward their successes.
"Competent" mother went on. They don't just rely on your intuition, but also seek to acquire special knowledge. Among them there are such women that have belonged to the maternal duties, as hard and tedious work. Although, of course, they always have to perform a variety of chores. But for them it is not important. Due to the special training they have achieved very notable successes in its development.
At the Institute we teach children and mothers. After our training, they, figuratively speaking, are not at the beginning of the end, and at the end of the beginning. As a rule, they are from 25 to 32 years, and they learn to speak Japanese, reading in Spanish, play the violin, to perform gymnastic exercises. They visit museums, go to concerts and do many other wonderful things. Naturally, they do this with their children that reinforces their mutual joy.
Mother well aware of its main task and feel pride in their children, which in the near future will change the world. In addition, they are constantly deepen their knowledge. Developing their children, mothers with some astonishment, that at the same time they develop themselves that their life is filled with new meaning and new high order.
A nice side effect, isn't it? But does this mean that until such time as any mother would not dare to become a competent mother, she has no chance to develop the intellect of your child? Of course, no. All mothers (and fathers)who have gone through our Institute, we were divided into three groups.
To the 1st group includes those "competent" mother, we just talked. They relate to motherhood as the most important and serious work, and all his time unreservedly commit to raising children.
The 2nd group includes the mother, which, although they spend with their children a lot of time, but are still able to do other activities. This can be caused by financial difficulties, and a great desire to realize themselves in something else.
The 3rd group of mothers are those who give their children too much time. Usually this is because they have to work a lot to support his family. And it's very sad for the mothers and their children. A civilized society should provide the opportunity for every woman to stay home and raise her child.
Needless to say that mothers that are members of all three groups, devoted to their children and try to provide them all the best. It is obvious that, although we have not encountered it, there is 4-I group. It includes mothers who are too lazy to deal with children or just don't like them. Some of them are limited by the fact that only feed and clothe their children, and some even get into the pages of a criminal chronicle infanticide. It is understandable why in our Institute we had not met with such mothers.
Not so long ago in one of the TV talk-show host of the program asked me a question: "don't you think that in order to avoid such tragedies couples should issue licenses on which they will be able to have children?" Then I replied that I hadn't thought about it, but will think. And here's my opinion: if I had confidence that our government are wise, not inferior to the biblical Solomon, which with a 100%guarantee will be able to determine the future murderers, pedophilic child molesters, perverts, this idea would deserve attention. But who among us believes that they are just such men?
Moreover, I have a strong suspicion that most mentally normal young women who don't like children, are first class mothers as soon as they give birth to her own child,
Fortunately, the fourth group of mothers is very small.
Mother of the 1st group can develop and successfully develop the intellect of your child, if only to teach how to do it. The same applies to mothers from the 2nd group. Typically, they can be given to your child from three to four hours a day. This is enough to teach him to read, write, and give a variety of encyclopedic knowledge. And it allows you not only to develop, but rather to enhance children's intelligence. However, they have almost no time to teach children to play the violin, to speak in a foreign language or perform gymnastic exercises.
I often confuse those conversations that are underway in our society about the fact that the vast majority of today's mothers are forced to work, and therefore can't spend days to educate their children. From here somehow inadvertently finds that mothers who do not have to go to work, from morning till night only and busy bringing up her child. I find it very offensive the idea that my old-fashioned mother who has devoted twenty-five years to the education of their children, did just that. Then, a quarter of a century ago, there was no electric washing and sewing machines, gas and electric stoves, not to mention the toasters, washing machines, mixers, air conditioners, and the like. So you can imagine what a big load fell on her shoulders, but us she had three. Yes, she didn't go to work, but this does not mean that it did not work. And the same can be said about the vast majority of its contemporary.
While our family is not treated the number of low-income or families with low levels of education. My mother was able to finish College, and father very well earned, even in the years of the great depression, so he allowed himself a lot of money to spend on books, which we in the house were a great many. I believe that my mother gave each of us at least four hours a day.
What can you say about the mothers of the 3rd group, which have severely limit the time spent with their children? And will they help the recommendations in this book? Yes, of course, because the main thing is not the amount of time that we spend with our children, and in its quality. Of course, the woman who works full-time, at all desire can not give their children the necessary amount of time. And it would be unfair to require this from her. However, no one wants to admit it, because such recognition would mean that the future of our children in conflict with the interests of our career. In a healthy civilized society, every woman who decides to have a baby should be given the opportunity to study his upbringing during the first six years of his life. And then she can return to her former profession. Many women who are professionals in their field, I want this. They recognize that the profession of the mother is important. Moreover, they claim that a break in his career caused by maternity, did not damage their professional qualities.
Six years is a bit adult and almost everything for a child. And how sad for our society that parents are forced to work all day, to provide their children with material wealth. The result is that little children see their parents, and that is exactly when they need them most! When we achieve material well-being and have the opportunity to spend more time with their children, suddenly it turns out that they have already grown. And now they themselves have no time for us. Only then we realize that the train had already left. Or may be, material well-being to which we aspire, was, in the end, not so important?
Here is something to think about not only parents, but also to society as a whole. Each of us deep down understands that to remove the child from the mother and put him in kindergarten this is a bad solution. Everyone understands this, but nobody wants to admit it aloud.
You cannot treat children as lambs, and collect them in a small flock. No communication with peers does not replace the child's parents.
The smaller the child, the greater the value for it has the quantity and quality of time that he spends with his parents.
They his best teacher, and must remain with them always. Csimmons once said: "If you want to rid the world of its shortcomings, start with the fact that enlist the support of mothers." We did it thirty years ago and since then have never regretted about it. And that the world needs to be improved, no doubt no one who reads the Newspapers and watching television news.
But is there any sense to raise highly intelligent and absolutely healthy children, if they are going to live in a decidedly unhealthy world? Everyone who is even slightly think about this question will become clear answer; these children this is the only chance for our world to change for the better. It depends on them what he will become, because human beings can realize their dreams into practice.