Preschool children can distinguish the good from the bad. They can say, as do the obedient child and as naughty, but usually I think that the rules are set by nature and not by public decisions. Only after a child begins to play with peers and learns that the rules of the game may be agreed between the participants and sometimes modified, your child will begin to understand the meaning of the rules. The five-year child usually believes that the act is more important than intentions. If someone accidentally break six glasses, it is much worse than if someone deliberately break one glass.
Most children are hysterical. In each generation year-old children significantly more than half arrange hysterics because of the constant causes almost daily. Some start early, some later. Some tantrums continue for many years, and some never hysterics Middle child, who are angry, happy for one day, and the average tantrum lasts about five minutes. But some of the children happens more than five a day, and some tantrums last more than an hour.
Hysteria begin to cry, or crying. Usually there is a protest ("No!"; "Do not want!") and the expression of anger (slamming doors, throwing objects, stomping or squeal). When hysteria is gaining strength, the child was swinging his arms, kicking, stomping feet, curves back and rolling on the floor. His face turns red, he cries and screams it out loud. He could intentionally kick you or the furniture. He throws things and may injure yourself. The child is able to blood to bite his hand or banging your head until you fill the cone Such behavior is alarming but it is quite usual.
Most children grow out of self-mutilation, aimed at himself, at the same time. when grows out of hysterics. Not all children behave identically. Not all tantrums are usually severe.
In hysteria there are clear phases. Before you arrange cry or roar, child and seems to be looking for a reason to fight. He is irritable and easily falls into despair. Sometimes children provoke hysteria deliberately asking something that they just can't get, or asking so that you don't understand. Then they arrange hysterics)'because they do not receive what you ask for.
As soon as the tantrum began, the first part will inevitably intense. The child will cry, to scream, to kick and fight. This phase may be followed, especially in children older, calmer phase, when the child is sad and full of regret. Squeal followed by sobbing, and the child can walk up and sit down or stand up next to you. This sadness followed by a period of unconsciousness, when you may need that you have his child, or he may still be angry and in a bad mood.
Very young children quickly change the temper justice with mercy. Tantrums come from nowhere and just as suddenly disappear, as if nothing had happened. The older the child, the harder passes hysterics and the more the child is upset after.
Hysteria is almost always happen when the child is with you or with another caregiver; rarely, when you are not around. Approximately half of all children who exhibit tantrums when they are alone with the mother, also suit them when they are alone with dad. Very few arrange hysterics before kindergarten. Children spending most of their time in a private garden, can throw a tantrum only upon returning home.
For the most part tantrums occur at home, usually when you are trying to do something, what is not involved, the child Often they happen when you are upset, depressed or sick. Children also arrange hysterics when they're sick, tired, disappointed or strapped to the chair. And for no apparent reason.
However, the reason for tantrums are relationships: love, affection, a sense of reliability and discontent. Just as you step out of yourself when you are with those you dearest, your child gets when he's with you. Just like it's easier for you to scream and cry at home, in the warmth and safety, it is easier to do this at home and the child.
How to deal and cope with children's hysteria?
There is no easy answer, and what worked
one day, may not have power in the future, but some helps to do the following.
Sometimes it is possible to prevent the impending storm, just enough to distract the child. Read the story, state fuss or very game. If the child seeks to tantrums, try to do something extraordinary.
Do not pay attention
As soon as he became hysterical, leave the room and leave the child alone with her. Tantrums are not satisfied in a vacuum: they need a loved one. If you will not be around to see it, the child will cease.
If the child knows where the boundaries of your patience, less the likelihood that it will come out for them, and your "no" will be perceived by the child is not so hard.
Firmly press the child to himself, taking his PA hands and squeezing tantrum away." Opinions differ as to whether it is time to look into the eyes of the child or to the side. Try both options.
Children who take arms and shake when im sad, much less arrange hysterics than those who give themselves.
It is noted that, if to talk about the causes of tantrums and how to prevent them in the future, this reduces their frequency, especially in older children.
What not to do
Do everything you can to avoid the following:
- Do not hit the child, as it is proved that it only increases the frequency and duration of tantrums the Use of physical force is also associated with more violent tantrums.
- Don't give up, because your weakness will allow the child to manipulate you through your anger. If he gets what he wants, rolling his tantrum, he will make more tantrums, because it works.